Posted on / by Brant Phillips / in Blogs

A Real Man is Vulnerable?

A Real Man is a Vulnerable Man

This is my belief, but I didn’t always think this way.

And likely, it’s a contrarian view.

Look around, most men are ashamed of their wounds, failures, emptiness and they’re hiding it all inside. 

Putting on the front, covering up and living like Desperados. 


What triggered this thought today, while reading this morning, I read this:

‘The deepest desires of our hearts is Union with God’

If this is true (I believe it is), and we are truly ‘children’ of God, then we were essentially created to be dependent upon Him.

He’s the trunk (source of power) and we’re the branches.

This is not an easy thing for a man who is not vulnerable to accept.

I didn’t accept it for most of my life.

Inside us as Men, we are stubborn.

We want to be independent. Rebels, tough.

But consider hiding your pain and masking your insecurities is acknowledging you are choosing weakness over power.

Jesus said it himself, “I assure you the Son can do nothing by himself’

That’s why I love this picture of my son walking, holding hands with his Grandfather. 

When I see it everyday, I think about the Father/Son relationship and see it as God being there to hold our hand and guide us along the path. 

But it’s our choice to walk with him and extend our hand out (once again, being Vulnerable).

So my friend, begin to consider if you choose to continue to hide and suppress your pain and weakness, you thereby choose to REMAIN WEAK & DEFEATED.

And don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.

You all have it. Pain and sorrow from…Failures, Fuck Ups, Females, Fitness, Finances….It’s in there somewhere, you know it.

And there’s no shame in that my friend.

The shame is keeping it inside and keeping your power and strength caged up.

This is exactly how I used to roll until I learned the power that comes from

  1. Being Real
  2. Being Raw

AKA: being Vulnerable

Real men do vulnerable things.

You know, things like: 





Stuff like that and *IN THEIR VULNERABILITY ACCESS TRUE POWER* but only when they stop hiding and suppressing the shit that needs to be brought to the surface and dealt with.

That’s precisely when the switch is made from Weakness to Power.

When you can step into Vulnerability, admit the truth and then begin to build and grow from there. 

But until then, you’re living in lies and carrying around a bag of pain, sorrow or guilt around your shoulders and the road to perdition is a journey I will not be joining you on my friend.

I leave you with the lyrics of Desperado by the Eagles.

Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses?

You’ve been out ridin’ fences for so long now

Oh, you’re a hard one, but I know that you got your reasons

These things that are pleasin’ you can hurt you somehow


Don’t you draw the queen of diamonds, boy

She’ll beat you if she’s able

You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet

Now it seems to me some fine things

Have been laid upon your table

But you only want the ones that you can’t get

[Verse 2]

Desperado, woah, you ain’t gettin’ no younger

Your pain and your hunger, they’re drivin’ you home

And freedom, oh, freedom, well, that’s just some people talkin’

Your prison is walkin’ through this world all alone


Don’t your feet get cold in the wintertime?

The sky won’t snow and the sun won’t shine

It’s hard to tell the nighttime from the day

You’re losin’ all your highs and lows

Ain’t it funny how the feelin’ goes Away?

Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses?

Come down from your fences, open the gate

It may be rainin’, but there’s a rainbow above you

You better let somebody love you

(Let somebody love you)

You better let somebody love you before it’s too late

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