Posted on / by Brant Phillips / in Blogs

Am I good enough?

“Am I good enough?”

That’s an incredibly important and powerful question that runs through the mind of every boy, teen, young and grown Man alive.

We begin asking this question to ourselves as little kids as soon as we’re old enough to walk.

Just think about a toddler’s face when they begin to walk and mom and dad are clapping and encouraging them on, their smile and face lights up like a Christmas tree.

So it’s done internally by looking for little assurances that we are indeed good enough and also, directly by asking for validation, “Dad, look what I did” kind of questions.

We want that assurance and validation that, YES, we are good enough.

So it starts from the little boy seeking that approval from his father.

Yes, the mother’s validation as well, but boys need it from their father, it’s a different weight and meaning to them.

Then boys get older and they seek validation from peers (aka peer pressure)

Then as they move into adulthood, validation is sought from college, or work, spouse and nowadays, social media.

And as boys grow to Men, many don’t get the response to that question they were seeking.

Perhaps their Father wasn’t around.

Or their Father was around and called little Johnny a weakling or a pansy because he didn’t like sports, or whatever.

There’s a good chance he was called alot more damaging words than those.

Those words cause deep wounds.

Or maybe Dad was there, he just didn’t speak much.

So you never got validation, you just got silence, which did nothing but cause more uncertainty.

Whatever the response to this question that a man carries in his heart, it will shape and mold him greatly for the rest of their life.

If they feel validated and that they are good enough, that they “have what it takes”, this will be a quiet, or not so quiet confidence they will be able to carry and use with them for life.

And for those that don’t get the response they were seeking:
~~ This will be a WOUND they will carry around for life.

If that’s you, you don’t have to continue to carry this wound.

That validation you need, doesn’t need to come from anyone else except from within.

The validation from God and from within your own heart and soul.

But if you don’t have it, seeking it Matters.

Seeking it is a Must.

As a Man, you need to feel inside that you are good enough and that when a Battle comes before you, you have what it takes to rise up and be the Man that can get the job done.

If you don’t have that inner confidence and peace inside of you, GO GET IT.

Seek it / Find It / Feel It / Live It.

Some Men carry this wound to their grave and live a lifeless existence, void of true power, confidence or meaning.

Don’t be that Dude.

Doesn’t matter how old you are.

I’m here to tell you this:

You have what it takes.
You are good enough.

But my Validation doesn’t matter if it doesn’t exist in your heart.

So some of you reading this have some work to do.

And this work will be some of the most important work that you will ever do in your life and it will be a key that will unlock a door to entirely new perspectives and experiences if you choose to walk through that door.

The work within, is the greatest and most difficult we can do as Men.

But the journey and the validation, is well worth it my friend.

*if you are a man and my messages are resonating with you, and you need some guidance or support with some of the concepts that I write about, feel free to DM me.

A lot of guys hit me up that way rather than publicly, so just making it known that it’s cool to do that and extending this invitation to those reading this.

I know Brother, you have some battles to fight, but you don’t have to fight them alone.

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