Posted on / by Brant Phillips / in Blogs

Married Man Choices


Your damsel is in distress.

Sitting, watching, wondering and waiting for you to come and save the day.

But days go by, and you’re nowhere to be found.

Then a week.

A month.

Perhaps years have gone by.

You’re there.

But you are not there.

Distress remains.

Damsel awaits.

And the Man you are supposed to be is nowhere to be Found.

What happened to you?

What happened to your heart?

Why is it so damn hard for you to be the Man that you used to be?

Where is the man that you Should Be?

I know where he is, but you don’t, and that is the source of the problem.

And you are what your beliefs + actions produce.

And if you’re in a shitty marriage, well my friend, that would likely mean you’re a shitty husband.

Best to call it like it is.

That’s your fruit, not mine.

But let’s figure out where to go from here.

Red pill, Blue Pill kind of thing, so there are choices you must face:

#1 – STAY (the same)

You know what?

~~ this is just how things are.

~~ You are who you are.

~~ She is who she is.

~~ Things aren’t going to change.

~~ Most couples you know aren’t really happy anyways, nor were your parents so why try.

~~ It’s hopeless…blah, blah, blah

Just continue on as you have been…go to Work, come home, watch tv, have a few drinks, jerk off to some porn and have almost absolutely no connection with your wife except a few ‘administrative’ conversations about the kids & household matters.

I get it.

It’s the path of least resistance.

This is what most men do.

It’s the easy path.

Until, one day, easy will become hard.

And if you’ve been here for a while, you know the pain is inching up a notch higher each and every day.

But doing nothing and remaining as you are, is still a choice.

Some would view it as the weakest choice of all.

And in some respects, it is.

But it’s also a painful choice.

Because the choice to do nothing and remain in a dead marriage is a miserable existence for you as a Man, and for the damage that it causes to your children, is a pain that I do not envy.

But time will march on if you remain in this pit, as does the quiet empty misery that is your life and marriage.

#2: LEAVE (or cheat)

These are alway options.

Ya know, let’s be honest, it would be real easy to find someone new.

Divorce is the norm anyways, so no one will look down at you.

It would be extremely simple to justify it and make her out to be the bad guy, and boom, you could just move on and leave and start new.

Or have some side flings, whatever, same difference pretty much.

I would care little about the judgments of others, but strongly consider the consequences that come with actions that cannot be unwound and the scars that will remain.


And that leads us to one last path to consider.

The path least travelled.

The last option is going to actually require you to get out of your comfort zone.

What do you have to do?

CREATE the Marriage that you know you can.


Well, how about just start with you doing the things you were supposed to be doing all along.

Remember those things you promised her?

Remember the things you used to do?

Start there.

Look Men, I get it.

It isn’t easy but your Damsel is waiting desperately for you to come alive and Be the Man that

She knows you can be.

Or at least that she used to think you could be.

You may feel like you’re not even sure if you can do it anymore.

I understand.

You’ve got your hurt.

She has her flaws.

She has done wrong and there is pain on both sides.

There is also 200% responsibility that led to where you both are at today.

~~ She is 100% responsible for her past actions.

~~ You are 100% responsible for yours.

So the choice you can make is to simply focus 100% on YOU and create the marriage you desire, Re-Awakening the Man inside, standing up to Fight for your Marriage and be a light unto your Children.

You can start today.

Get her flowers.

Write her a note.

Grab her Ass.

Ask her to dance

Let her know you’re not going anywhere

And let her know that it’s time to turn up the heat and rekindle what you used to have, but even better.

You have choices my friend.

We all do.

I know, I’ve been on the brink of departure more times than I would like to admit.

But remaining a Man that is a member of the walking Dead Dad club and remaining the head of a Shitty marriage is not where you want to stay.

Make a decision.


Or step up.

If you choose to stay and truly be the Man that You have the ability to be, I commend you.

But give her your all.

For her and for you.

You need this.

Being vulnerable, humbling yourself and beginning to rebuild your marriage from where it is, is what a Powerful Man does.

And I believe Men are measured by the sacrifices they make.

So let the past go.

Sacrifice your sympathy and sorrow and start.

Show your children how a Man leads a family by the way you love your wife.

Sacrifice, seduce and begin to rescue your Damsel from distress and go create the marriage and family you have in your heart to create.

Time to decide my friend .

I’m here to help, but you have to make the choice.

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