Posted on / by Brant Phillips / in Blogs

The Mirror of Judgment

Let’s talk about your Projections and what you may really be trying to communicate when you point out flaws in others

People have an amazing knack to see other people’s shortcomings.

You do it all the time.

You cast judgments all day long.

On social media, talking with friends, with family, spouse, and on and on….

But let me share this with you.

The question is why are you doing this?

You may not like the answer modern psychology has to offer.

When we internally feel that we have a flaw in ourselves, or some type of shortcoming, issue(s) or even just things that we’re uncomfortable with in ourselves, we then (most often unawaringly) ‘externalize’ and attribute it onto others.

Yes, if ‘you spot it you got it’ is actual verified science.

Hey, first off, it’s easy to do.

Next, it’s a quick dopamine hit to talk about someone else (feels good initially)

And, of course, this means you don’t have to put any effort on fixing yourself.

We all do it.

This is sometimes called the ‘King David reaction’

Remember David from the Old Testament had an affair with Bathsheba, knocked her up, (she was the wife of one of his faithful soldiers), and btw, David had access to unlimited tail around the castle, but he did it anyway and then, to make matters worse, he had the soldier murdered to cover it all up.

So in comes Nathan.

Nathan, a prophet, approached David with a parable.

He told David a story about a wealthy Farmer that had stolen his neighbor’s only cow and then murdered the neighbor.

David immediately demanded that man be brought to him immediately, to which Nathan replied:

“David that man is you”

You see this?

This ‘blame game’ is going on all the time and has been since the dawn of time.

The good news is now that you spot it, you can begin to fix it.

All around us are people who can’t (or don’t want to) see things in themselves, so they project the very same things they do and cast judgement onto others.

I get it, it’s easier to project than to look in the mirror.

Of course it is.

But that’s a loser game and you know it.

Just like Jesus said, worry about the plank in your own eye rather than the speck in your neighbors.

Here’s the lesson my friends:


So WHEN you spot ‘it’ in someone else, learn to quickly catch yourself, reflect back to look in the mirror to see what is within you that needs to be fixed.

In other words, Internalize the judgement rather than Externalize it.

Look in the mirror rather than at your neighbor.

And then do the work that needs to be done.

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