Posted on / by Brant Phillips / in Blogs

Why do Men Burn Good Things to the ground?

Why do Men Burn Good Things to the ground?

You don’t think you do?

You may be burning something down in your life right now without even realizing it.

Ask me how I know.

Yes I’ve burned my fair share of things down to the ground.

Businesses, relationships, and much more.

Match was lit.

Match was tossed.

And poof, up in flames it went.

Hindsight is 20/20.

And from that hindsight, the more enlightened version of Me today, now allows me to see:
~~ My actions were not wise.
~~ My actions did not serve me.

However, from those experiences and related pain, was from which the learning and growth transpired, and I have become an entirely new Man, even from where I was a year ago.

But let’s look closer into some of the WHY’s & HOW’s that we as Men needlessly and destructively burn USEFUL things in our lives down that do not need to burn.
*this is not a conversation about Burning/Removing *non-useful people and things* from your life, so don’t confuse the two.

To clarify:
~~ Non-Useful relationships & ‘Things’: Burn ‘em down

~~ Useful relationships & ‘Things’: Don’t Burn them down if they serve you and others.

Cool, let’s continue.

So here’s my summation as to WHY guys do this.

Lack of Purpose.

It all starts and even ends here really.

When you don’t know who you truly are as a Man, you’re walking blind.

You may have SIGHT to see the present circumstances, but you won’t have the VISION to see into the non-visible realms and see the future impact and implications that your actions may cause to your life and others.


When you have a deep driven purpose and truly know who you are at that soul level, this almost automatically, steers your thoughts/actions/steps towards a ‘higher destination’ and keeps your ‘eye on the prize’ or outcome that moves you further down the path that I think should be similar for every human being which is a path of:

~~ Learning
~~ Growth
~~ Enlightenment
~~ Expansion

No, not perfection, but simply Progress.

But sadly, and quite obviously, the masses of Men today have no clue about who they are called to be inside.

They have no Soul Purpose.

Well, they do, but they do not know they even do.

And they have not sought it out.

And if you do not seek you do not find.

And if you do not even know this exists, you do not seek.

And, no, simply working a job, or running a business and being a husband/father/provider is not EVER going to be fulfilling enough.

Look, I love my wife & my children with all of my heart and soul, but my relationship with God and the calling in my heart are my first priorities.

THIS relationship structure is what allows my wife and I to create an amazing marriage.

She holds the same belief structure as well: God, Calling, Brant, Family….etc

It’s the times when I have put her or other things on a pedestal in my life when things got out of whack.

For me, this has mainly been the almighty $$$.

And IF just being a husband and father and making money was our true calling card as Men, if that was really enough to ‘satisfy’, why are most Men ‘living lives of quiet desperation?’

Domesticated Men that have their ‘Domestic Duties’ at the top of their hierarchy of life’s accomplishments are bound to burn shit down, even though they keep the ‘happy/clappy’ sunshine and rainbows outlook with their fake smile and Sunday morning Amen brother greetings, but delivering no true weight or impact to society or to close ones, does not satisfy the soul and that heart remains unfulfilled.

You pay the bills, great.

You put food on the table, great.

And you’re completely miserable inside.

Men: You are called to be and do more.


If you can’t answer that question
if you’re like the dumb-ass version of me a while back and you’ve stop pursuing the Calling you were given, then you are primed and ready to step into the TRAPS.

What are the traps?

The traps that lead Men to burn good things down to the ground.

There are many traps and snares along the path of life, and what typically ensues when you aren’t pursuing a true calling, Men will simply get Bored.

When Men get bored, it’s just a matter of time.

Then Sedation or Sidetracks occur.

It happens to the best of us.

It happened to me a few years ago.

I had a crystal clear calling, which was to help and lead Men to create results in all 4 Core areas of their life and teaching them by running my Breakthrough at the Beach events, and I was making an impact, changing lives, families, businesses, bank accounts, health and more.

It felt great.

It satisfied.

I was on FIRE.

I knew WHO I was.

I know WHAT I was called to do.

But I fell into the Traps.

And I shut it all down and along with some other things in my life that were, we’ll say, really good.

I beat myself up for this for a long time.

Still to this day I receive messages from Men who I worked with years ago thanking me for the impact I helped them to create in their lives, but I still remained frozen.

I had my reasons.

But they were all bullshit lies I was telling myself.

The truth was I bought into the lies and I stepped into some traps and stopped pursuing that Calling.

And I got stuck in the comfort zone and entrapments of living that Plateaued good life, but definitely not Great life and was absolutely not pursuing a calling or making a noticeable impact upon the world, apart from my responsibilities as a husband, father and businessman.

It happens every day to great Men.

Maybe it’s happened to you.

It happened to King David.

Look at his life.

When did he fall and have the affair with Bathsheba?

When it was time for the Kings to go off to war, David sent his Men and the entire Israelite army but he stayed back at the crib.

This is when David let off the throttle of pursuing who God had called him to be.

He took his eyes off the prize….then….*BAM*

He ceased being a Warrior.
*no, this doesn’t mean that we as Men must continually go into physical battlefields, but there are battlefields of the Mind & Spirit that we must continually wage war within and do battle.

But David sent his Men so he could sit back and chill at the pool with some Tito’s and stogies and then BAM, there it happened.

Bathsheba comes strutting down to the pool in that thong and dental floss 2 piece and it was on like Donkey Kong.

So, a couple of things here.

Guys, whatever you’ve done: No Fuck up is beyond forgiveness.

And while this is not easy for me to write or even believe, because there are some atrocities that I don’t comprehend that could be forgiven, I do take God at his word around this gift of forgiveness, so if you’ve what you believe are some unforgivable actions, and you’re carrying around that baggage, I would urge you to consider a couple of actions here:

1. Ask for Forgiveness (truly repent from the heart)
2. Receive Forgiveness

I get it.

Both of these can be equally difficult.

Difficult, but necessary.

If you cannot do both of these, you will remain stuck where you’re at.

So I encourage you to read that again and consider acknowledging out loud so it resonates in your soul, that *You will remain stuck at wherever you’re at in life* if you cannot Ask for and Receive Forgivenes.

Whether the forgiveness you extend to those you’ve wronged is give is accepted immediately or ever, that’s ok.

That’s their business.

Your job and your business is to do your part in extending your true acknowledgment of what you regret and what you did, then release yourself from the mental anguish in order to receive God’s forgiveness so you can begin moving towards your Great Commission in life and begin fighting the Battles you’ve been called to fight.

Here’s the thing, when you begin to deal with your past shit, and give and receive forgiveness, you can now begin to Free yourself to be in position to find a higher Calling.

For those of you that have been given a Mission/Calling/Vision/Purpose, call it whatever you want, we must acknowledge:

To whom much is given, much is required.

And if you are to accept the challenge of the True Calling in your heart and carry out that Mission, it will be difficult and possibly, downright impossible for some of you.

It may likely stretch every cell in your being.

You may be tested in every way possible:
Mentally – Physically – Spiritually – Financially – Relationally

So to continue on that path and fight the good fight you’ve been called to fight, you my friend are entering onto the ‘Road Less Traveled’

It’s much, much easier to stay neutered and domesticated and play it safe and roll with that Dad bod life….

But if you have a calling in your heart, and a Mission that floods your mind, Fight You Must.

But you can’t do it alone.

Forget about an accountability partner.

How cute.

That’s elementary shit.

You need a close connection with God and a band of like minded, integrity driven, Warrior brothers that are fighting similar fights right by your side.

I don’t know where this message is hitting you for those of you still reading it.

I’m not even completely sure why this message came to me today at this time.

I’m just honoring what’s in my heart.

I just sat down for my daily reading and journaling and this is what came out.

I made that re-commitment a while back to myself and God to begin communicating the unfiltered messages and words that come to my mind.

And these are what came today.

So wherever you’re at in life, if you’re like most dudes and you’ve burned some things down, maybe you’ve created a financial a mess, maybe a marriage disaster, wrecked your body with horrible habits or substances over the years, disconnected God or perhaps your children, I’m not sure, only you do, but my response is this:


Good, because we all do this.

You’re supposed to do this.

That’s my experience now as to how I see the world.

It IS reality.

Men do stupid shit and burn shit to the ground.


It’s ok brother.

It’s not the end of the world.

It may quite possibly be the precise START of your new World if you choose to take this perspective and proceeding actions.

You can literally take the pile of ashes from that which you’ve burned down and make this the time to shift and rise to your calling.

So wherever you’re at on the path to find and pursuing your purpose, I’m here with you fighting the good fight to build back that which is in my heart and what I’ve been called to do.

I hope you do the same.

I’ll see you on the path my friend.

The End.

PS: for my Men out there that are stuck and not sure what your calling is, or how to find it, keep checking my posts/videos/blogs, I’ll be sharing what I’ve learned over the years that show you how to Seek and Knock so that you may Find the answers that you’re looking for.

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